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action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/thesuburbanlife/thesuburbanlife.com/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6114I have a bit of a bone to pick. There’s a very popular someone highly admired by another certain someone in this house that is not living up to their commitments. Strike that. Their one commitment. Their one and only job they are tasked to do.<\/p>\n
We have got to have the flakiest Tooth Fairy around town.<\/p>\n
This particular fairy has had it pretty easy around here. They have only been assigned to one child thus far, a handful of baby teeth. I’ve known fairies out there who are juggling three, four or sometimes five kids at one time…an infinite number of teeth lost. And those fairies manage to get their job done. Those fairies manage to sneak those teeth out of various bedrooms leaving their various tokens behind.<\/p>\n
Not so with our<\/em> Tooth Fairy. Case in point.<\/p>\n Avery lost a baby tooth yesterday. She’s 7 years old and has already lost a few over the last couple of years. Well, let me just tell you that our Tooth Fairy has a horrible record in terms of consistency. I’d give her about a 60% success rate in tooth\/money exchanges. Which is utterly pathetic.<\/p>\n This most recent loss is no exception. Avery went to bed, excited to see what prize would await her in the morning. Her brother got to “pend to-nite”with her thanks to spring break and they both nestled deep into bed, with one last look at the teeny little tooth awaiting its fate on the dresser, before falling fast sleep.<\/p>\n Apparently, so did the Tooth Fairy.<\/p>\n Jer and I were woken up bright and early the next morning by a timid little voice saying, “Mommy…the Tooth Fairy didn’t come.”<\/p>\n Ugh. Not. Again.<\/p>\n “Um, honey,” I began.<\/p>\n “She forgot to bring me any money. She left my tooth in the cup,” Avery said, perplexed.<\/p>\n “Um…here, climb into bed and watch some cartoons. I need to run into the kitchen,” I said, hurriedly.<\/p>\n “M’kay,” she answered, climbing into my side of the bed and covering up.<\/p>\n Damn tooth fairy. Damage control.<\/p>\n Eureka!<\/p>\n “Avery!” I yell as I ran into the bedroom. “Come here,” I said.<\/p>\n “What?” she asked.<\/p>\n “You need to see this,” I answered.<\/p>\n “Okay,” she said, excitement creeping into her voice, following me into the kitchen.<\/p>\n “Look!” I exclaimed, pointing at the kitchen counter.<\/p>\n “Wow…” Avery said, eyes wide.<\/p>\n I began to explain, “Apparently, the tooth fairy couldn’t make it all the way into your bedroom last night…”<\/p>\n “Mmm hmmm…it’s probably Jack’s fault,” Avery said.<\/p>\n Naturally.<\/p>\n “I mean he woke up,” she said. “He probably scared her away,” she finished.<\/p>\n Ah-Ha!<\/p>\n “You are probably right, sweetheart. So, because she couldn’t get in there to get your tooth, she left you a dollar here in the kitchen,” I said.<\/p>\n “Maybe, she’ll come back for it tonight,” Avery said, hopeful.<\/p>\n “Yes, Avery. I have no doubts that the Tooth Fairy will be back for your tooth tonight,” I resolved.<\/p>\n Even if I have to leave that flake a little note reminding her.<\/p>\n And, so she did. Tooth Fairy hightailed her little glittery butt into Avery’s room last night bearing two quarters and a package of Smarties in exchange for a two-day old tooth.<\/p>\n Let’s hope this latest fiasco is the last one. However, I have a sinking feeling it won’t.<\/p>\n Poor Jack.<\/p>\n Mindy<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have a bit of a bone to pick. There’s a very popular someone highly admired by another certain someone in this house that is not living up to their commitments. Strike that. Their one commitment. Their one and only job they are tasked to do. We have got to have the flakiest Tooth Fairy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1,22],"tags":[371,372,65,370],"class_list":{"0":"post-1691","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-stuff","7":"category-family-life","8":"tag-avery","9":"tag-losing-a-tooth","10":"tag-the-suburban-life","11":"tag-tooth-fairy","12":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1691"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1705,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691\/revisions\/1705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thesuburbanlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}