I really wish I could say, “Well, dahlings, I’m so sorry I’ve been absent but I’ve just been on a FAB-ulous world tour and couldn’t spare the time to say hullo.” But, that would be lying. In fact, it would be more on par to say, “Well, dahlings, I’m so sorry I’ve been absent but I’ve just been puttering around my own house picking up dirty clothes, stepping on Littlest Pet Shops and building semi-passable Valentine’s day school boxes.” Not as fabulous.

But, alas, I’m here today and wanting to say “HELLO my friends!”

And, as I quipped, things have been very “standard parenting” around these parts which means I’ve been busy and things have been hectic. Both of the kids have seemed to up their demands exponentially for their ol’ mom and Jeremy still seems to be invisible to their immature retinas (explanation here).

And as for my semi-passable Valentine’s day school box? Imagine realizing at 10:30p.m. that your preschooler is supposed to present a decorated valentine receptable and 40 valentine’s cards to his class at 7:30 the following morning and all you can find is a dilapidated shoe box, some seriously suspect “all occasion” wrapping paper and a single heart sticker. Magic happened people. Jer and I whipped out a pretty sweet little Valentine’s day box and luckily I had already picked up Jack’s cards. We sent Jack to school that morning, shoe box in hand, ready for the party and card exchange, anticipation giving him a noticeable spring in his step.

After school and on our way home in the car, Jack was telling me how excited he was to open up his box and see all the surprises he had in there. I tried to explain to him that the box would be filled with little cards, just like the Spiderman ones we had picked out. But it would be fun to look at all the different pictures and to read all the little sayings. I wanted him to realize that there might be a conversation heart in there or two but to not expect a bunch of candy.

Boy, was I wrong.

We ripped open that box and we were looking at a portable version of Target’s candy aisle! That box was packed with sweetness and Jack could barely contain his excitement. I could barely contain my embarassment at realizing I was probably the only parent who did not include cavities with her valentines.

Jack started shuffling through the various offerings and all of a sudden I spotted one very familiar red leotard-clad superhero peeking out between Dora the Explorer and Princess Belle. So, Jack had decided to gift himself with a Valentine. How cute. Suddenly noticing the Spiderman valentine, Jack lifted it out of the box and began inspecting it. I could see confusion (and a little disgust) plastered across his tiny little face.

“Hey,” he said.

“What buddy?” I answered.

Gripping (his own) Spiderman valentine in his fingers he asked, “Why come this boy didn’t give me no candy?!”

Oh, Jack.

Mindy