After suffering through a miniature panic attack a little over a week ago due to the realization that the time to stock up my gift closet was running out (thanks for the heads up QVC), I quickly pulled it together and managed a good amount of retail therapy.
It could have been any number of things that spurred my motivation. Maybe it was the putting up of the faux tree, adorning it with ornaments old and new. Perhaps it was theChristmas cards suddenly showing up in my mailbox. Or, and most likely, itwas witnessing mykid’s expectant faces peering down at an…empty tree skirt…that added a touch of desperation to my already growing anxiety.
All of this shopping got me thinking about the whole gift-giving process in general. In the Christian philosophy giving of gifts is meant to replicate the Three Wise Men bearing gifts to celebrate the birth of Christ. That’s all good but…what does instigating a throwdown over ZhuZhu pets in the middle of the Walmart toy section replicate? Were the Wise Men fighting over the frankincense at the local…I don’t know…frankincense store?Did they get in a pulling hair match over the myrhh?Highly doubtful.
Now, don’t get me wrong here. I absolutely love giving gifts. I hope it doesn’t sound too cliche for me to say that I am a much better giver than getter when it comes to “gifting.” Nothing brings me more satisfaction than watching someone unwrap a present, especially if I know it’s one that will bring the recipient a lot of joy. Christmas Eve night is almost harder for me as an adult than it was for me as a kid because I am so anxious for the morning when my kids will wake up, stumble out to the living room, their eyes aglow from both the twinkling lights of the tree and the sheer exhilaration at witnessing the miracle of Santa.
But…and this is a big butt (whoops, Freudian slip, maybe?) I feel like it is way too easy to fall into the trap of Christmas commercialism and bestow upon our little ones an absolutely ridiculous amount of gifts therebyredefining their expectations of the holiday spirit from quality to quantity. **There, I said it. I feel better. Sort of. Please don’t hate me. And please do not categorize me as the blogger Grinch who hates Christmas.**
This has absolutely nothing to do with a person’s financial situation. If someonehasn’t spent all their money investing in baseball cards and carnival glass and is fortunate enough to buy their children a new car for Christmas (in which case, please contact me becausemy ’97 Honda Accord has been making some scary noises and just might be on its last leg) then by all means, purchase that thing. But the majority of us out there are feeling the pinch in our purses (thank you very much Fannie and Freddie!) and don’t have that capability. However, some still feel compelled to throw down that Visa at the checkout and mortgage their Christmas to the hilt.
My fear is that in all this consumerismthe meaning of Christmas is getting lost in the shuffle. Religious convictions aside, this holiday has the opportunity to work some seriousmiracles in someone’s life. Families who have suffered major losses, friends who haven’t spoken in years, couples who have been experiencing tension can all come together under the lights of a Christmas tree, if only for one day. Of course there’s always the chance that a holiday gathering could wreck any chances at reconciliation and cause an undue amount of anger and bitterness, in turn revealing the ugly (pronounced oogly for emphasis) side of someone. It’s been known to happen. No further comment.
The point is (and there is a point…I promise…I don’t just write this stuff for the heck of it…okay, sometimes I do…like when I wrote this) that there is so much more to Christmas than the gifts. There’s faith. There’s food. And family. And peanut brittle. And friends. And fudge. And parties. And Christmas cookies. And white elephant exchanges. And hot buttered rums. (Are you sensing a theme here?)
As a child, Christmas was most definitely about the gifts…in part. It was also about dressing up a little, eating good food with family, watching Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on television, and singing Christmas songs during music class at school. It wasone holiday with several different elements.It was not only about the gifts. Nowadays, people cause themselves so much stress and anxiety over the gifting part of the holiday they potentially relieve ofthemselves the entire”reason for the season.”
The peppermint bark.
Enjoy the season, Mindy
“blogger Grinch who hates Christmas.”
Nope, that’s me! 😀 New blog to come soon. Seems we’re both sort of on the same wavelength. Mine’s still in draft form, because I had to take a break and write a more important blog today. I’ll be tracking back to you … watch for it! 🙂
You’re not the grinch…you just know what’s up and aren’t afraid to say (or write) it. =)
Mindy
Hi Mindy. You’re so right about this. Our family dinner used to be this frenzy of gift giving and the kids had that crazed look in their eyes looking for the next present to unwrap. We decided in our family to draw a child’s name from the hat and each child now only gets 1 gift. And we no longer exchange adult gifts. It certainly makes the holiday season much more enjoyable. I still love giving gifts, but personally, I think the home-made ones are my favorites. My mom crocheted towels for each of us last year. I think I might make pumpkin bread for my sisters this year. We all have so much. Thank you for your post reminding us of that!
I think that’s just it. You reach a point in life where more stuff is just that…more stuff. It’s an amazing point in your life when you realize that it really is the thought that counts. =)
Mindy
Even though you are using humor you are so right. I have good memories of Christmas past, not because of the presents but because of my family and traditions. I think people should remember it is a season of giving to those that have little or nothing. I have taken my nephew many times and asked him to pick a present for a kid that wouldnt have one otherwise. I always tell him he may get a little less but someone else will have a little joy at Christmas. He always totally got it and it made him happy to share. I wish more adults would try it. Thank you for the reminder.
That’s a tradition I would like to start as well…the giving tree. My kids need to see firsthand how lucky they are and realize that spreading the cheer is the best and most important way to celebrate Christmas. =)
Mindy
I agree totally! I am trying to create those same childhood memories for my kids that I had as a kid! Thats why we stood out in the freezing cold this year a watched the little Springfield parade! It made a great holiday memory, the kids loved it and I think it will be a traditon from now on!!
You rock, Sandee! It is those little holiday memories that we remember as adults. Those are the things worth cherishing…not the Easy Bake Ovens. =)
Mindy
Your post touches on something I’ve been struggling with year about giving and receiving gifts. After going through a decluttering phase (the first of many), I realized that I don’t want more stuff. I want experiences and memories and a few nice things that I enjoy, that are of quality. I want to give with those values in mind too. My family has been “weird” about Christmas since my mom left my dad after Christmas a few years ago. Donald and I will be with them this year (we switch between families each year) and we have no idea what to expect. It has nothing to do with the gifts – we’re trying to recreate our own family traditions now that things have changed so much.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
I guess as long as your own standards and traditions are set in stone, it really doesn’t matter how everyone else chooses to celebrate their holiday. It sounds like you and Donald have a pretty solid idea of what will be important in your own family. Good start! =)
Mindy
Mindy, I totally understand where you’re coming from. In my house Santa only brings 3 gifts – because that’s how many baby Jesus got. Of course there’s little stuff in the stockings, and they still get a new set of clothes and a toy from us. I had to get on to my inlaws last year for the mountain of toys they give. (It was literally a mountain!) Now, anything that the boys don’t want or need is not taken back to the store, it’s given to the children’s hospital or the homeless shelter. My oldest (5) is all about this and gets excited every year about it. We also do the same thing at birthdays. Needless to say, my inlaws were horrified and have cut down on the amount of gifts they give. Hubby’s grandparents always ask for a donation to be given to charity for their Christmas gift, so that’s what we do.
Wow, you are really setting an awesome example that your boys will undoubtedly live by as adults. I bet it didn’t take too long for the in-laws to get the picture, huh? And how cool is it that the grandparents ask for donations…great idea! =)
Mindy
mmmmmm . . . peppermint bark!
Yeah, I could totally do away with both giving and receiving. That would take a worldwide movement though, so I’ll go with the flow and just minimize as much as possible. It’s such a lovely holiday in so many ways. I love the Nativity story and all the elements of celebrating the birth of Christ, presents don’t have to be a big deal.
Agreed… =) Now, if everyone else in this world would lighten up and just listen to us… =)
Mindy
Last night there was a Christmas program at Jason’s mom’s Church and his two girls were in it. It was really cute. They basically decorated a tree on stage while a young teen explained what each ornament and decoration meant in terms of Jesus. It was the sweetest program. I really enjoyed it. One thing that struck me was about the gifts, not only did the wiseman bring gifts, but we were given a gift of salvation. And that is what the gift giving represents and why we give them and recieve them.
That certainly spun “gifts” for me in a new way.
That really does put a different spin on the “gift” situation. Thank you for sharing that! I’ve probably heard that at some church service or another but don’t specifically remember it. “Gift of salvation”…now that’s a gift I’m certain appreciative of! =)
Mindy
i couldn’t agree with you more! except my reason is the peanut brittle and spiked egg nog 😉
i LOVE to give gifts and wrack my brain all year round to find the one thing that will make my special folks smile all the way to their souls!
We are teaching Sweet Pea that is the season of giving and receiving is just an added benefit( sometimes not as exciting as what we just gave)
Like you I think the commercialism of it all has gone way to far but understand the need for retailers to make money- but there should be some cheer involved in there somewhere right?
or is that what got stomped on in the rush to get the Zhu Zhu pet???
Now, wait…I’m not hatin’ on the peanut brittle OR the spiked egg nog. All part of the perfect Christmas recipe! And yes…we need to get back to the cheer of the season! And you can’t really blame the retailers…they’re just responding to our ever-growing greed! =)
Mindy